Chapter XXII: Among the Mangrove Seas

Threshold the Third: The Bastard's Trail


I engage with the Snark, every night after dark, in a dreamy delirious fight; I serve it with greens in those shadowy scenes, and I use it for striking a light. This task is so exacting, and its fulfillment so advantageous, that I forget myself in the process, losing sight of my instinctual nature and putting my own conception of myself in place of my real being. In this way I slip imperceptibly into a purely conceptual world where the products of my conscious activity progressively replace reality. ("That's exactly the method," the Bastard bold in a hasty parenthesis cried, "That's exactly the way I have always been told that the capture of Snarks should be tried!")Separation from my instinctual nature inevitably plunges me into the conflict between conscious and unconscious, spirit and nature, knowledge and faith, a split that becomes pathological the moment my consciousness is no longer able to neglect or suppress my instinctual side. The thing is- Fear can't hurt you anymore than a dream. There aren't any Beasts to be afraid of on this island. Serve you right if something did get you, you useless lot of crybabies! But there is no animal-

Fancy thinking the Beast was something you could hunt and kill! You knew didn't you? Close, close close! It is this, it is this that I dread!

-Jack Merridew

insanity: noun. mental illness or derangement in most criminal jurisdictions; something extremely foolish to relieve the accused of unsoundness of mind in the judgment of civil court; unfit to maintain a contractual or legal relationship with a mental heath facility, or to warrant commitment to folly. not of scientific use. 

Sentence: Courage is Hope without ignorance.

Satori: 

We all get to be gum in graves anyway!

Mantra:

Let-the-Seasons-begin!

Fossick:

Con an honest John.

Chapter XXI: To See What Condition My Condition Was In

Stage the Second: The Bastard's Speech


Thou, nature, art my goddess; to thy law my services are bound. 
Wherefore should I stand in the plague of custom? 
Why bastard? Wherefore base?  
Hath not the bastard eyes? 
Hath not the bastard hands, organs, dimensions , senses, affections, and passions? Fed with the same food, hurt with the same weapons, subject to the same diseases, healed by the same means, warmed and cooled by the same winter and summer?
When my dimensions are as well compact, my mind as generous, and my shape as true, as honest madam's issue? Why brand they us with base? with baseness? bastardy? base, base?
If you prick us do we not bleed? 
If you tickle us do we not laugh? 
If you poison us do we not die? 
And if you wrong us, shall we not revenge?


Well, then, I grow; I prosper:
The villainy you teach me I will execute, and it shall go hard, but I will better the instruction. 
Now, gods, stand up for bastards!

-Hagbard Celine

bastard: noun.  a vicious, despicable, or thoroughly disliked illegitimate child; esp a man; irregular, inferior, spurious, of abnormal or irregular shape or size; of unusual make or proportions: having the appearance of character.

THE CREW:

Five Unmistakable Bastards


I. Chaos; with meager and hollow taste (but crisp).  


II. Discord; with a habit of getting up late.


III. Confusion; with a slowness of taking of jest.


IV. Bureaucracy; with fondness of bathing machines.


V. Aftermath; with ambition. 


Four Unredeemable Bastards


I. Victory; teacher of suffering.


II. War; politician of the cause of suffering.


III. Famine; entrepreneur of the cession of suffering. 


IV. Death; servant of the Path to the cession of suffering. 


Three Unquestionable Bastards


I. The Futher; has never had sexual intercourse. 


II. The Sun; the birth of Humanity as a whole.


III. The Huly Spirit; is usually disagreeable, malicious or sinister in manner, often with magic or supernatural powers which can be helpful or obstructive. 


Two Uncanny Bastards


I. Yin; was a veteran burlesque entertainer from a show business family.  


II. Yang; was a boxer in his hometown of Paterton, New Jersey. 


One Unglorious Bastard


I.


Sentence: Fear not the Forest, for it's bark is worse than it's bite.

Satori:

It's Alive!

Mantra:

"Kill the Beast! Cut his Throat! Spill his Blood!"

Fossick:

One Giant Leap For Man, One Unnoticeable Step For Mankind.

Chapter XX: Straight to Hell

This is not going to go anywhere. 

The second book of the Trilogy never does. 

This is what happens when God gets writers block.

it will begin now...

Frontier the First: the Landfill

i. no parking, no smoking, no swimming... these are just words.

ii. and their only words unless their true.

iii. however, shoes are required to ride the bus.

iv. although, that same bus will let you carry on a large ominous back-pack with a short sword (yes, not a machete; distinct difference) sticking out of it.

v. please note: they will charge you a dollar for bringing on the backpack. 

vi. bathrooms are for paying patrons only. 

vii. please save all explosive diarrhea for public restrooms. 

viii. well, some go this way, and some go that way; but i just sort of trail off in some direction with no real destination.


ix. maps get you to frames of mind. it's your feet that get you somewhere.


x. follow your gut instinct. after you've eaten, follow your intuition.  

xi. after you've jumped to conclusions, make sure they don't jump you. 

xii. then follow your heart.

xiii. its very important that you find it and put it back into place. 

xiv. chase your fears.

xv. you should have never let them get away from you in the first place.

xvi. chase your dreams.

xvii. you'll catch up to the illusionary eventually. 

xviii. love is blind. 

xiix. so it's probably a really bad guide to pick. 

xix. follow yourself. 

xx. you'll end up in circles. 

21. you know, quite honestly: fuck the Romans. 

22. because finally the moment came where i began again with the proclamation that Pluto himself had never existed!

23. i love glory by murder by the entire fucking Senate more than i fear death by murder by the entire fucking Senate. and yes I am that clever. profanity.


Sentence: Even if God is dead, at least Mathematics will always be there to save us. 

Satori:

Just the place for a Snark!

Mantra: 

Outstanding-and-that's-what-you-tell-em

Fossick:

The One and Only.

BOOK THE SECOND: BETA INEFFABLE

'Twas brillig, and the slithy toves 
Did gyre and gimble in the wabe;
All mimsy were the borogoves,
And the mome raths outgrabe.

"Beware the Jabberwock, my son 
The jaws that bite, the claws that catch!
Beware the Jubjub bird, and shun 
The frumious Bandersnatch!"

He took his vorpal sword in hand; 
Long time the manxome foe he sought—
So rested he by the Tumtum tree, 
And stood awhile in thought.

And, as in uffish thought he stood, 
The Jabberwock, with eyes of flame,
Came whiffling through the tulgey wood, 
And burbled as it came!

One, two! One, two! And through and through 
The vorpal blade went snicker-snack!
He left it dead, and with its head 
He went galumphing back.

"And hast thou slain the Jabberwock? 
Come to my arms, my beamish boy!
O frabjous day! Callooh! Callay!" 
He chortled in his joy.

'Twas brillig, and the slithy toves 
Did gyre and gimble in the wabe;
All mimsy were the borogoves,
And the mome raths outgrabe.

BOOK THE SECOND: BETA INEFFABLE

Interlude: The Fall of Billy Pillgrim and the Rise of MaleXandeR SuperTourisT

The DECLARATION OF RESOLUTION


i. continue the dream long after the sheets are lifted.

ii. stay awake long after the midnight oil has drained.

iii. i got three candles i've been waiting to burn them motherfuckers.

iv. quit smoking.

v. eat peaches.

vi. start smoking again, after a long epic struggle (much like my lungs will have in 20 years).

vii. but this time make it cool again. fuck the actors, let's get the Doctors back on board. any one reading this with a Phd THIS MEANS YOU!

viii. find all the GODs i can, get then to a panel discussion, and ask them how their faith in me is doing lately.

ix. lock all the loads i can. give three birds to the bush.  let all my weather veins make my decisions for me.

x. steal a handbag from any elderly lady, hop in, take the fist highway to hell, dance with the devil, make it back again.