Chapter XXI: To See What Condition My Condition Was In

Stage the Second: The Bastard's Speech


Thou, nature, art my goddess; to thy law my services are bound. 
Wherefore should I stand in the plague of custom? 
Why bastard? Wherefore base?  
Hath not the bastard eyes? 
Hath not the bastard hands, organs, dimensions , senses, affections, and passions? Fed with the same food, hurt with the same weapons, subject to the same diseases, healed by the same means, warmed and cooled by the same winter and summer?
When my dimensions are as well compact, my mind as generous, and my shape as true, as honest madam's issue? Why brand they us with base? with baseness? bastardy? base, base?
If you prick us do we not bleed? 
If you tickle us do we not laugh? 
If you poison us do we not die? 
And if you wrong us, shall we not revenge?


Well, then, I grow; I prosper:
The villainy you teach me I will execute, and it shall go hard, but I will better the instruction. 
Now, gods, stand up for bastards!

-Hagbard Celine

bastard: noun.  a vicious, despicable, or thoroughly disliked illegitimate child; esp a man; irregular, inferior, spurious, of abnormal or irregular shape or size; of unusual make or proportions: having the appearance of character.

THE CREW:

Five Unmistakable Bastards


I. Chaos; with meager and hollow taste (but crisp).  


II. Discord; with a habit of getting up late.


III. Confusion; with a slowness of taking of jest.


IV. Bureaucracy; with fondness of bathing machines.


V. Aftermath; with ambition. 


Four Unredeemable Bastards


I. Victory; teacher of suffering.


II. War; politician of the cause of suffering.


III. Famine; entrepreneur of the cession of suffering. 


IV. Death; servant of the Path to the cession of suffering. 


Three Unquestionable Bastards


I. The Futher; has never had sexual intercourse. 


II. The Sun; the birth of Humanity as a whole.


III. The Huly Spirit; is usually disagreeable, malicious or sinister in manner, often with magic or supernatural powers which can be helpful or obstructive. 


Two Uncanny Bastards


I. Yin; was a veteran burlesque entertainer from a show business family.  


II. Yang; was a boxer in his hometown of Paterton, New Jersey. 


One Unglorious Bastard


I.


Sentence: Fear not the Forest, for it's bark is worse than it's bite.

Satori:

It's Alive!

Mantra:

"Kill the Beast! Cut his Throat! Spill his Blood!"

Fossick:

One Giant Leap For Man, One Unnoticeable Step For Mankind.